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An Updated Personality Test.... (To see my progress)

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

It's funny to think about what happend recently in my mind.  It boggles my mind when a friend of mine complained that people seemed to not care about this person, ok fuck it I'm going to give a pronoun seems easier.  He thought that people didn't care about him because they never called, but when someone calls him out of the blue he bitches about it.  Etc,. saying how all of a sudden they call him and want to hang out but he ends up ditching his "friend."  But as I see it back again, he says all these things and yet to this day, I have not talked to him in awhile.  Never a call not even an email.  I guess it can only be one way but when he does it to someone else I understand the reason why no one calls him anymore.  It's sad though, I'm a friend to the fullest, I don't really expect anything back but just a friend.  But I know that the definition of friend is the same to many other people and others it means completely different things.  Like another friend of mine well an ex-friend, claims she is so good and godly etc,. but yet when in the reality, she's an ego-centric person who thinks that the world revolves only around her life.  Another "friend" of mine claims to be a good person and a good friend but ended up ditching everyone over something little.  I dismiss the fact that he just got up and left but the principles of all these acts are drastic.  I don't give a fuck about their words, moreso their actions speak louder than words.  The fucking principles of it all.  The principles that are welded closely together by the word friendship.  Maybe I'm expecting too much from it or am I too "nice" as many of other friends keep saying.  That I am way too lenient on their actions and should be confronted.  That's the thing, I'm not confrontational.  I only get confrontational if I had an extremely bad day and things just keep piling up. 

I haven't updated because life has been hell with school and friends.  Well less on the friends part.  But expressing myself here and now is fine by me. 

Another thing that I really need to vent about is that in the LGBTQ community, I keep seeing that life is just getting worse and worse from within.  We complain about how we don't get equal treatment, but at the same time we discriminate against each other.  I keep hearing from "butch" guys that dislikes "fems."  So who fucking cares.  I understand if its relationships I totatlly understand that part.  But when they say that they only want masculine or "straight"-acting guys, that is what I don't understand.  I say fuck you.  I'm not saying that I hate them for saying that but why does someone have to incorporate the words straight and acting.  You are who you are.  But why do you only have to have "butch" guys.  Friends consider me feminine and I agree, but I can play football just like any other guy.  I will play sports if I see a challenge, I will climb walls if I feel like it.  It's doesn't mean I'm masculine, it's just me.  I like having challenges.  Even if I lose, I will take it like how I take it.  I will bitch and complain but at the same time give kudos to the winner.  The word gender incorporates everything here.  It's the same bullshit I experience everyday.  If I don't open a door for a girl I get a wierd look.  If I don't do something that would be considered normal I get the strange look from older people.  Just because I am not something everyone expects me to be doesn't mean I am who I am.  It's hard to explain.  But sometimes friends don't seem like friends, more like aquaintances.  But anyways that's my wierd tangents and digressing.

Currently Reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister : A Novel By Gregory Maguire see related